Gunther's Diary
by Mikayla. Hey thats my name
Summary: Have you ever wondered what goes through Gunther's head? Well this story tells you just that! heres a hint: Rachel! I love the show "Friends" and hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1 The one where Gunther writes

Gunther's Diary

-Mikayla L.

Dear Diary,

My therapist is making me keep a diary now. I don't see why. I'm perfectly happy at my dead end job that lets me see the women I love almost everyday talk to her weird friends and some times walk in with a new boyfriend. I get to serve her coffee and watch her and watch her and watch her….and watch her. I am perfectly happy. I'll just write the dumb diary to get that therapist off my back.

I talked to Rachel today, I love her. She ordered coffee, she's so dreamy. She sat on the couch where her whole gang hangs out. She sat there for one hour and thirty-one minutes talking to Monica, she's so caring. I watched her leave, she walks so beautifully. The rest of the day I stared at the door waiting for her to walk back in, she came back in and sat with Joe, channeler, Monica,and Phoebe. I'm glad that Rachel thief creep Ross wasn't there, he makes me sick. Unfortunately Dr. Divorce arrived shortly after. I can't believe that he and the beloved Rachel had a child. That child bring conflict with in myself she's half Ross but half of the belatedly beautiful Rachel. Luckily I don't have to see her much, but she keeps Rachel farther from me, from us, from what's meant to be. I can be good with kids, they don't always run away.

She left before the rest, she had to finish up some things for work and check on Emma and the baby sitter, she's such a hard worker. I stared at her friends and Dr. Evil I wish I could be them, they get to hang out with Rachel all the time. They talk about her surprise birthday party, I desperately want to go if I show up they probably won't kick me out. Will they? They can't I'm the coffee man at Central Perk, if they kick me out of Rachel's party I can kick them out of Central Perk, that's there favorite hang out. It's the perfect plan. Oh there leaving now. I guess I'll go clean up their mess, Rachel's mess.

I decided to keep Rachel's napkin, if you look close enough you can see her lip gloss. I keep it under the counter I hold it in my hand longing for her to walk back in. I know she won't come in again to day but I wait for her. The customers know I'm longing but yet they still get mad when I mess up their order. They should get over themselves and be happy that I'm serving the delicious coffee I make that should only be served to the sweet, sweet, sweet, sswweeettt Rachel.

I guess that concludes todays entry. I wonder what my therapist will think of me now, I don't really care about what he thinks about me or says though. I always tune him out and think about Rachel in my head when he's talking.

/**AUTHORS NOTE: Ok so I promise I'm not a creep if you think I am after reading this. It's just kind of always how I thought of Gunther. Review? Continue? Ideas? Thanks! Baa-BByyyee for now!**\\


	2. Chapter 2 The one where they are wrong

Dear Diary,

My therapist hasn't read this yet he said he will read it Friday. I thought this diary was for me, why does he have to read it? The only person I would want reading my diary is Rachel. Maybe then she will leave the Divorcinator and come be with me, her real soul mate. Everyone thinks there a cute couple all in "Love" and that "it was meant to be" but I disagree whole heartedly that they are wrong. They are wrong.. WRONG! ME AND RACHEL ARE MENT TO BE TOGETHER THOSE PEOPLE ARE WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! Lucky for her I am patient and I will always wait for her because I know we are meant to be together. We would have the cutest little babies, with blond hair and they could be named Racheletta, Guntha, Rahchey-Gurtha, or if its a boy Anthony Ross (but we would call him Anti-Ross for short) or Bob. They would be mean to Emma when Rachel isn't around because they will only see Ross but when she is around they will be kind to her because they will realize that she is half Rachel too. Although our children would be far superior to Emma. You can't help but feel bad for her, I mean she could have been half of the lovely Rachel and half ME if she had waited a few more years!

The Rach-gang was in the coffee house again today they got here just before Rachel, Divorso, and Emma. They were once again talking about Rachel's surprise party, I can't believe they haven't invited me yet! They better invite me or else their coffee might contain a little more Gunther then they would like. Oh here comes Phoebe, she's alright I mean she's no Rachel but she is definitely someone I would like to be friends with. I wonder if she's going to invite me to the party.

Sadly she didn't invite me to the party, or to hang out. She ordered some tea. I resentfully hand her the herbal liquid tree crap and watch her walk over to the posy and talk buoyantly about her tea. We could definitely be friends.

Just as Phoebe stops talking about her tea my heart skips a beat as I watch Rachel walk in. I watch her dreamily walk over to the couch they all seem to love only to have my dream come crashing down into a stubbornly annoying night mare as Ross walks in with Emma in a baby carrier. I wonder how much money it would take to bribe him to go to Russia and take the kid with him. I'd be willing to pay it. They talk about asinine subjects that cause them all to giggle. They let Joey see Emma and he does something to the kid to make it start wailing causing Rachel to freak out, how dare he stress my Rachel, she takes Emma in a panic and calls her pediatrician. I listen closely as I do all Rachel's conversations the doctor told her not to calm down it was probably nothing. She disagreed and she left with Emma, Ross sluggishly followed. I would have been running next to her.

I walk to the window pretending to clean it , I watch them hail a cab and Rachel yell at the cab driver to drive faster after telling him the address. I walk back to my counter and listen to the gangs conversation. Chandler makes fun at Joey, but Joey seems sad and confused that he made Emma cry. That doesn't matter to me though, right now to me all he is is the person who made Rachel leave early. If this happens again he might earn himself a spot on my hit list , he of course won't be as high up as Ross who is first. Lucky for Ross I am a craven man and Rachel would never be with me if she knew I had any roll in harming him. He gets to live another day.

/**AUTHORS NOTE: Hi everybody! Thanks so much to all of you who have reviewed and favoriteded! I realize there are a few grammar error but honestly who has good grammar in a diary. ;) I'll try and post as soon as possible but I'm usually really busy with school (I used three of my vocal words in this chapter too hehe) and stuff, but its almost the weekend so I'll hade a little more free time! And if you didn't catch on by now Gunther REALLY doesn't like Ross(duh), however; I like Ross :) although my favorite characters are Rachel and Joey 3 :)

Keep reading and reviewing please! Thanks so much -Mikayla L.**\


	3. Chapter 3 The one where Rachel cries

Dear Diary,

It's almost noon and Rachel hasn't come in yet! I hope she's ok! What if she was hit by a bus?! What would I do?! My life would have no meaning!She always comes in before noon! The only time she doesn't is when she's out of town and I would have heard about it! SOMETHINGS WRONG! WHERE'S RACHEL?! MY LIFE HAS NO…Oh there she is, false alarm, it's ok, she's fine. My life has purpose again. I wonder why she's coming in so much later then normal. She looks concerned, what is concerning my sweet Rachel? I need to listen carefully today. I went over to the edge of the counter closest to where Rachel was sitting and pretended to clean, she looks so sad.

Her eyes are red and she has tear marks on her face, my poor Rachel I hate seeing her beautiful face full of tears. In a quiet but sad tone she tells her friends that her father was in a boating accident and they don't know if he is going to make it. They all hug her and comfort her, I want to comfort her. I need to comfort her. They all sit down and they ask me for a cup of coffee for Rachel, I've had it ready since 15 minutes before she usually comes but its cold now! I can't serve her cold coffee,she's my love and she's sad and week! Cold coffee would push her off the edge! So I start on her coffee. Since I have perfected her coffee and she has her own special pot it doesn't take long. I very carefully walk over making sure not to spill a single drop. Holding the coffee to Rachel, she thanks me and I try to speak but I can't. My lips won't move, why won't they listen to my brain?! Her words zip my lips even in her sad tone they're amazing. I walk away with an open mouth looking like an idiot. Her words ring in my head over and over again , " Thank you, Gunther."

They sit there another 15 minutes before Rachel gets up to leave with Ross right behind her. She's going to visit her father and Ross is going for "support." After they leave Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Mike, and Joey all sit awkwardly for a moment before they slowly all start to leave. I watch Monica and Chandler, the last of the group, leave. I go to clean up where they were sitting even though Monica had already cleaned up a little. I find one of Rachel's tissues with some of her run mascara and tears on it, I quickly shove it in my pocket. After I finish cleaning up their mess I go back to further examine the tissue.

It is wet with her tears and has run mascara wept on it, there is also a small amount of snot. I will never throw this away. When we get married I will give it to her, I will give her every article I have kept of her. I will be in an album and each article will have it's own date and it will say,"I have always been there for you."

She will love it, tears of silent joy will run down her face and she will wrap her arms around me and whisper in my ear, "I love you. I'm so sorry I made you wait." I will back up a bit but we will still be in a close hug I will look into her beautiful eyes brush back a piece of stranded hair and whisper you were worth the wait."

I can't wait for our wedding, it will be amazing.

/** AUTHORS NOTE: Hi! Sorry it took me so long to post but I've been busy..and stuff. haha. Hopefully my teachers won't give as much homework (ya right) so 'i can write more! Please keep reviewing and reading! PRREEECCHH!(That means thanks just in case you get it) ~Mikayla L.**\\


	4. Chapter 4 The one with Dear Gunther

Dear Diary,

Rachel won't becoming in today because she is at the hospital with her father. Although I am extremely depressed about not seeing my beloved today, it gives me time to focus… on our future. However as everyone knows to understand the future you have to go back in time. So I'm going to tell you, my dear sweet Diary…Darchel, the first time I met Rachel and the short amazing time when she worked as my protagay.

I will never forget the first time I saw her. She came running in a fluffy ugly on anyone but her wedding dress. She was hysterical, crazy, free, and rebellious. She was so relived to find

Monica, I never wished so much to be Monica, even with her chunky past. I haven't even talked to her yet and I already knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I wanted to be classy though, she had just run out on her own wedding and flipped her whole world around. Certain people weren't as classy though just a few days after I had laid eyes on her I saw her and Ross at the laundry mat. I didn't say hi because..well I don't know why, but Ross crushed my young love filled heart (for like a week) when they kissed. It still pains me to think about it, but not even he can stop our love. Just distract it.

I will never forget the day she asked me to work at the coffee shop. I was so happy the only words I could say were, "Yes you start Monday." That next Monday she came to work an hour late I jokingly told her "Just don't do it again," but for some reason I think it came across in a cold demeanor, I seem to get that type of response whenever I talk.. I don't know why. I made her a waitress because I knew the machines would be to complicated, and it's kind of MY job. I gave her long hours so I could look at her longer. I tought her how to take an order and what a broom was. I even got to tie her apron one day! I miss those day, even if our sales plummeted. A smaller pay check is worth seeing Rachel Green all day.

I'm off to see my therapist, today is the day he actually reads it. I've thought about it and I'm okay with him reading it; although, he is not Rachel he is here to "help" me but he's a pretty cool guy and I'm dieting to tell someone everything about Rachel. I use to tell my mom but she called me her phone doesn't work anymore and to only call if it wasn't about Rachel because it only sometimes works. I have to leave you dear Darchel with him for one night. I don't know what I'm going to do at work tomorrow I usually write in this when ever Rachel isn't in the store. So I guess this is good-bye for now, I'll see you tomorrow.

_Dear Gunther,_

_ After reading your Diary, which is interesting to say the least, I have come to conclusion that you are a little to attached to Rachel Green and your diary, which you have apparently named Darchel. It seems like Rachel is going to be out of town for a while (I hope her father gets better) so I would like you to try focusing your thoughts on something else, Perhaps your coffee shop? I will let you keep you d… I mean Darchel because it gives me a good look at your thoughts but maybe you should focus more on your work and less on writing in your Diary. In remarks to what your wrote about me, I am honored to read your diary. I will take good care of Darchel until our next session. In regards to what you should do at work while I keep Darchel you could always work. I'm sure this has nothing to do with you but I hear all the time that the service at Centeral perk takes forever some times, maybe you could help your co-workers._

/**AUTHORS NOTE: Hiiiiiiiiiiii, sorry I haven't posted in a while I've been busy with homework and such. Did you notice the "to understand the future you have to go back in time" ? Well it's quote from a song by Pitbul haha. I'll try and post another one sometime this week or next weekend but I will probably have a large amount ( I almost put a lot but I caught myself ;) .) of homework, BUT after this week we have September break so I will probably have enough time to post quiet a few! Please review! It makes me want to write more! Oh and I thought this might be fun, ok so what should I name his therapist? Review or message me or whatever what you think! I'll use the one that I like the most (most likely the most ironic one) and if I can't decide I will either post a chapter and in the author note ask for a tie breaker or ask one of my friends. So Read, Review, and comeback. :) **\\

-Mikayla L.

P.S. Notice how the therapist note and my note are almost exactly the same length? I just noticed that as I was about to save it!


	5. Chapter 5 The one with a stapler

Dear Darchel,

I got my diary back from today. He told me he read it and wrote me a note, he also gave me a prescription for some thing I'm not quiet sure what it its for though. I'd read it but I'm driving right now from his office to Central Perk and it's dangerous to read and drive.

I'm at the coffee house now and Rachel is not here so I'll go ahead and read it, the people in line will just have to wait.

…Dear Dr. Carl,

I have no clue what you are talking about, I am not over attached to Darchel and ESPECIALLY not Rachel! Rachel and I are just in love and Darchel is only a medium I express my feelings in. I think you think this coffee shop is more busier than it actually is, its not that crowded. I don't really think it is up to you weather I get to keep Darchel or not, and I will work as needed. You should be honored to read Darchel, this is sacred material when I become famous this book will be worth a huge some of money, but don't worry I'll be sure to thank you for your help. Also Darchel was meant for only Rachel's eyes but I made a rare exemption for you, your welcome. Those people who you talked to probably came in when Peter was working, he can be a little lazy and distracted sometimes, I would help him but we don't work the same shifts.

Back to you Darchel,

I don't know what's up with this guy. His comments agitated me slightly so I'm going back there and making him read this! The nerves of some people! I feel I had a witty response though.

_Dear Gunther,_

_ I'm sure Suzie didn't really mind it when you busted in her section to make me read your Diary but she is suffering from PTSD from a recant accident so you might have spooked her, please don't take it personal that she threw a stapler at you. I am sorry that you don't agree with my conclusion between you, Rachel, and Darchel. To prove my point who is Darchel named after exactly? Is it a mash up of Diary and Rachel? That is what I thought it to be but I never did ask you. I am honored to be reading Darchel, and I do sincerely hope you remember me. What are you going to become famous for exactly? You are probably right about Peter being the problem._

…_Oh and you can call me James. _

_I will see you tomorrow for your appointment and for your safety and the safety of others please don't interrupt another appointment._

….Wow I can call him James? I feel so honored to have such an amazing therapist with such a great name! I mean James Carl, that has got to be the best name ever! To bad he works with so many nut jobs, like that Suzie I mean who throws a stapler?! At least he has few normal patients, like me! Sorry I don't make it clear but I have an AMAZING voice, so yup you guessed it, I'm going to become…. a professional curler! I'm going to be in the olympics and everything! I'm also think I might take up figure skating so I can win multiple medals.

Ok just because Darchel is a mash up of Diary and Rachel that doesn't mean I'm obsessed with her. I'll try and work on Peter but Rachel comes back tomorrow so I will have more important things to think about.

/**Authors Note: Hola :) I didn't really have any homework today so I got to write the next chapter! YAY! Thanks to the ppl who reviewed and the ppl who are following the story, or me :) It means a lot to me :") lol. So I'm going to explain how I come up with this stuff, So almost all the crazy stuff about Suzie I actually got from school. Today I had to read an article in English about the mental trauma of killing someone in war and it said many have PTSD after, which I think is sad :( but susie didn't get hers from being in war, I'll just let you decide what her accident was, and about the whole stapler ordeal last year a teacher got really mad at the class before mine so she threw a stapler at the ground, being an orchestra teacher is apperentally very stressful ;) needless to say I loved that teacher haha. Oh and Credit to **Ghee Buttsnaps15 **(btw I like your name) for the name Dr. James Carl (I liked both names so I just made it his whole name). Reviews? Read again PLEASE! **\\

-Mikayla L.


	6. Chapter 6 The one with Gunther the dog

Dear Darchel,

I heard through the grape vine that Rachel was coming back today, but I don't see her! I hope she's ok! Now that I think about it I haven't seen any of her friends either! THEY MUST BE AT HER FUNERAL! IM RUINED MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE COMPLETE! Hey look there's Chandler, he's not crying so she must not be dead or deathly injured. …Unless, HE'S THE ONE WHO KILLED HER, OMG I CAN NOT BELIEVE CHANDLER HIT HER WITH A BUS! Oh there's Monica, probably his partner in crime. Pheobe? Joey?! No way! I didn't know they had that kind of side, well maybe Pheobe the street can do weird things to people, but Joey?! ROSS?! HOLLDING HANDS WITH SOMEONE ELSE?! I AM GOING TO KILL HIM HE BETTER GET READY BECAUSE HE'S ABOUT TO FACE THE RATH OF GUNTHER! Oh..Thats Rachel's hand he is holding. I'm still mad at him but I guess it's better than her being dead. They all look cheerful and happy, Rachel's father must have made a full recovery and must be out of the hospital. That's great, because I'm going to need him to walk Rachel down the aisle at our wedding.

Rachel and Ross tell the gang about there journey to visit her father in the hospital. It's so southing to hear her voice again, his not so much, but it's worth it if I get to hear Rachel's. They finish there coffees and other caffeine filled drinks and get up to leave. They leave me a tip and Monica throws away some of their trash. After they leave I walk over to clean up the remainders of their mess when I hear a thud. At first I shake it off and continue to examine the mess planing what to keep and what to throw out, when I hear the thud again. I look over to the door to see a small, kind of ugly, dog and it just keeps walking into the door. I go grab our spare leash and get the dog. I read it's tag and it says its name is Gunther and he belongs in an apartment just up the street. The building across from Rachel's actually. I start to walk the dog back but it must be like mentally retorted, or blind and deaf, or something because it keeps running into stuff and its not responding to my voice. After what should have been a 5 minute walk that ended up being 20 minute long walk I get to the apartment. After ring the door bell for 20 minutes the owner finally shows up and takes the dog with an annoyed look on his faces and grumpily thanks me. I walk back to the coffee shop and man my post again. An hour later the dog is back running into the door so this time I just put the dog in my car and drive to the nearest animal shelter (which is 40 minutes away). I hand them the dog and tell them the story. I drive back to the coffee shop and deal with the un reasonably mad customers but for some reason I keep thinking of Gunther and the cute little dopey look he had on his face when he would run into the door. I decide I want him back I run to my car and speed to the animal shelter and demand him back. They say I can't have him back they have to put him down he is in no state to live and he shouldn't have gotten to this bad of a condition in the first place, I would be doing him an injustice if I took him home. In mad tears I yell at them " So I would be doing him an injustice by letting him live?!" and they respond with a cowardly "Well.." "its what's best for him. " I stormed out of there a wet mess not only because I was crying but because a dog peed on my leg when I was there.

Needless to say today was not my best day, but at least Rachel is back and not Chandler's road kill.

/**Authors Note: The story about Gunther is kind-of-ish true, see the other day like last Friday this dog named Gunther kept running into our fence so my dad had me walk it back to our neighbor's house because it was their dog (it said it on the tag). So it takes me forever to get the dog over there even tho there just one house down so I ring the door bell and all the other dogs come to the door barking and he comes picks up the other dogs, and i thinks he's just locking them up so they don't attack me when he opens the door so I'm waiting and waiting like over ten minutes so I ring the doorbell and wait and wait so finally I'm like ok whatever and start to walk back (the dog ran into the steps a few times while we were waiting too so it just finally sat down, i don't blame it) so then my dad takes the dog walks up rings the doorbell and the man answers to him -,- what a waist of time it was having me walk it there. Any way so sorry **Ghee Buttersnaps15 ** haha I must have read it wrong or something either way I like both ;)

As my brother says… PEACE *Make peace sign with hand and make duck face with face*

-Mikayla L. **\


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